


Viktor Nikiforov Does NOT Have a Smurf Kink

by FigureSgayts



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: (Ish) - Freeform, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Crack, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, it's only rated t for language and brief discussion of adult things, ok like the idea is crack but it's also not crack at the same time if it makes sense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 14:53:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11337753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FigureSgayts/pseuds/FigureSgayts
Summary: Viktor loses a bet to Yuuri, leaving him at the mercy of his fiancé in a bathroom with hair dye.





	Viktor Nikiforov Does NOT Have a Smurf Kink

**Author's Note:**

> btw viktor nikiforov does not have a smurf kink and if yuuri were to turn blue he wouldnt find it kinky he would freak out and seek help
> 
> ok now that that is said, please enjoy

The idea was brought up at the Four Continents gala, Yuuri completely shitfaced on cheap alcohol and Phichit encouraging all of it while being as sober and just about anybody else there. 

The idea being hair colouring, of all things.

Or, more, how difficult it’d be for Yuuri to dye his hair because first he’d have to bleach it, and that’s so much work and he just really doesn’t want to do that to his hair. Phichit, being the ever faithful friend, agreed wholly, citing his own past experience with Yuuri back in Detroit where Phichit lost a dare to Yuuri on who could hold the most alcohol, which resulted in Phichit’s hair going a glorious shade that Yuuri dubs “Shrek green”.

And of course Viktor brought up the idea of how he wouldn’t face the same issues as Yuuri and Phichit with how his hair is naturally a lighter colour and would dye with ease. Which, now that Viktor actually thinks about it, was definitely the wrong thing to say.

Let it never be said that Yuuri Katsuki isn’t a small fiend in disguise. Viktor should have known something was up when Yuuri challenged him to a bet, especially after Phichit’s story about how he ended up with green hair, but Viktor is a fool and thought that it’d be fun to have a bet with Yuuri. Yuuri is his fiancé, after all. Why would he work to hurt Viktor.

Viktor wants to blame it on Yuuri’s lack of sobriety, but not even he can lie to himself that much. Oh no, Yuuri Katsuki is just a little devil in disguise; drunk or sober, Viktor is positive Yuuri would have still challenged him with the same damned outcome.

Yuuri proposed a dance competition again, between he, Phichit, Viktor, Guang Hong, and a very reluctant Seung-Gil Lee (Viktor still needs to ask Phichit just how he managed to get him to agree to Yuuri’s rather ridiculous idea). The winner was to be gifted with the power to choose any other competitor and make them dye their hair whatever colour the winner chose. And, in hindsight, Viktor shouldn’t have agreed to these terms. He should have suggested something a bit different, less lasting, but he didn’t because it’s really hard to resist Yuuri’s wishes when his face is just that little bit flushed and he’s giggling with joy and looks so damn happy. And it’s not like anybody else said anything against the proposal.

And so everybody danced, and Viktor was reminded so much of the Sochi gala, all that was really missing was a pole, and he enjoyed himself. Everybody seemed to enjoy themselves, really, smiles being spread room wide, and Yuuri was laughing most of the time - Viktor thinks he may have managed to fall even more in love with Yuuri Katsuki that night, if such a thing was even possible. Despite everything, Viktor thinks it just may have been worth the rather stupid decision to participate, if only because of just how happy it made Yuuri.

But then everything ended, and somehow Yuuri ended up winning the damn thing, and Yuuri Katsuki is evil. He didn’t even have to think before he had his eyes on Viktor, toothy grin on his face as he pointed, telling Viktor, and everybody else present, that his coach was going to have hair the colour of the sky.

Viktor isn’t a bad sport, he wasn’t about to argue, but damn it, does he regret his life decisions just a bit now that he’s sitting alone in a bathroom, waiting for his fiancé to come in with the hair dye now that everything is properly covered and ready. And while he regrets it, he’d do it all over again if it meant seeing that same pure, raw joy being exuded by Yuuri. No amount of shitty hair dye could make Viktor regret being able to see that, no price too high.

Finally, he hears the door behind him crack open. Viktor turns his head and watches as Yuuri walks in, two bottles of what is presumably sky blue hair dye in his arms. Viktor looks at them in slight horror, but doesn’t say anything. Yuuri won his little game fair and square, and now Viktor is paying the price. That’s okay, he thinks. There will definitely be time in the future to get Yuuri back for this.

“Cheer up Viktor, you act like we’re on the way to a funeral,” Yuuri teases, setting his supplie down on the countertop of the small hotel bathroom.

“Well, my hair is being dyed, Yuuri. Dye. Die. It’s the same word, really. I’m going to need to hold a funeral for it after this,” Viktor pouts, slouching his shoulders for dramatic effect. 

“You should have used your amazing choreography skills to have danced better than me, then.” And Viktor can hear the smile in his voice before he actually does smile and Viktor’s heart melts. Maybe this won’t be so bad, as long as Yuuri is here. “Now, do you have any idea how to dye your hair, or do you want me to just do it for you?”

Like hell Viktor knows how to dye his hair! Not in his wildest dreams did he ever want to give up his hair colour, loving the way it always shimmers in the moonlight and flares up against the colours of the ice and his costumes. Well, shimmered. Past tense because it won’t be doing any of that any time soon.

“Ah, if you could please do it,” Viktor says, and part of that is just because he doesn’t think he could actually do this to his hair. Having Yuuri dye it won’t be as bad, but if Viktor was left to his own devices…. It wouldn’t even be a matter of if he knows how to dye hair at that point. Viktor just doesn’t think that he has the strength to actually do this to his hair.

Yuuri smiles wide at the response. “Good! Now uh, if you could stand up or something, that’d be great. Just near the sink. Since my hands are going to be messy, you are the designated cleaner of anything that suddenly gets anywhere.”

Lovely. Viktor moves to where he’s asked to go and looks up at himself in the mirror hanging on the wall. This is not how he planned on this week going.

All too soon and with all too little warning, Yuuri has his hair in his hands. All Viktor can do is stare in horror as his hair is worked with, thankful that Yuuri seems to not be making a mess because Viktor isn’t sure if he can actually move right now or not. Why did he agree to this? And it’s way too late to back out now that over half of his hair has been covered with the dye. 

It’s a relief when Yuuri says he’s done, and that now all Viktor has to do is wait 30 minutes with the dye sitting in his hair before it can be rinsed. It’s no so much of a relief when Yuuri suddenly leaves the bathroom cursing profusely in Japanese, leaving Viktor all alone to just watch, to look at his ruined hair.

Oh was he a fool.

After some time passes, Yuuri walks back into the bathroom looking dejected, and that’s really not something that Viktor likes. “Yuuri,” he calls, reaching a hand out for his fiancé. Yuuri looks at the hand, but doesn’t make a move to grab it. In face, what he does do and shove his hands behind his back. Viktor frowns at him, confused at the actions. “What’s wrong, Yuuri?”

“You can’t laugh at me,” Yuuri says quickly, cheeks going slightly red.

Laugh? “You know I would never laugh at you,” Viktor says slowly, tilting his head to the side. “Now what is it?”

“I… I forgot gloves when dying your hair, and I have no idea, but uh…” Yuuri slowly pulls his hand out from behind his back, revealing bright blue-stained hands. “It won’t come off.” Viktor bites his tongue _hard_ to keep from laughing because the site is absolutely ridiculous. The colouring goes up back his wrists and about a quarter of the way to his elbows, and it looks hilarious. “Viktor, I look like a fucking Smurf.”

A Smurf? “What is a Smurf, Yuuri?”

Yuuri looks at Vikor dumbfounded. “You don’t know what a Smurf is?” Viktor shakes his head. Smurfs never really came across him, whatever they are. “Oh my g-d! Okay, so basically, they’re these terrifying little blue gremlin creatures. Awful things, really. I swear that I have had nightmares about them before, but now I’m coloured like one!”

This time, Viktor does laugh. “You’re scared of them? Let me see one, where is your phone?”

“You said you wouldn’t laugh!” Yuuri complains, but he still goes to dig his phone from his pocket and quickly starts clicking away.

“I said I wouldn’t laugh at what was wrong with you, not at the fact that you are scared of little blue things,” Viktor says.

Yuuri doesn’t respond, making a weird face at whatever is on his phone screen. He holds up his phone and shoves it about a foot away from Viktor’s face. “This is a Smurf.”

It is indeed small and blue. But not terrifying. “I think it’s kind of cute,” Viktor says, looking closer at it. The animation isn’t too terribly awful. Viktor looks from the picture back to Yuuri’s hands, and wow, the colouring is incredibly similar. Not exact matches, but definitely close. “Though you are right about how your hands look that a Smurf’s.”

Yuuri groans, dropping his hands. “This is awful, Viktor,” he whines. “This is absolutely awful.”

“I don’t know, I think it looks kind of cute,” Viktor muses, grabbing for one of Yuuri’ hands for inspection. “It’s pretty, that’s for sure. The blue really isn’t a bad colour to look at.”

“Viktor, I can’t turn into a Smurf!”

“Well, then maybe you shouldn’t have chosen this colour for my hair,” Viktor says, and now Yuuri pouting. “Did you want my hair to look like a Smurf or something?”

“No,” Yuuri says, shaking his head. “Mostly because I love you a little too much to see Smurf when I see you.”

“Then you should just try to not see Smurf when you look at yourself if you are that horrified by them,” Viktor tells Yuuri, and Yuuri rolls his eyes but gives in. “Now, has it been 30 minutes yet? I really want to get this stuff out of my hair.”

“Yeah yeah,” Yuuri says, motioning to the sink. I just need you to lean backwards over it so that I can rinse it.”

Viktor complies, and, while the angle at which he had to bend is awkward, Viktor doesn’t mind. The feeling of Yuuri’s hands gently running through his hair is calming - soothing - and Viktor wishes he could feel them all day, gently rubbing at his scalp is brushing across his forehead. He almost whines when Yuuri pull aways, turning off the water and telling Viktor that he’s done.

“There,” Yuuri says proudly. “Now look at my work.”

Viktor pulls himself up and turns around. Staring back at him is a demon, the hair more blue than his own eyes are. It’s awful. “It’s Smurf coloured. Now that you have shown me a Smurf, all I can think of when I see this is a Smurf,” he complains. 

Yuuri’s hands come back to Viktor’s hair, running gently through them. “I don’t know, I can look past it. It all feels the same to me. As long as I can still grab onto it while fucking you….”

“Yuuri!” Viktor bats Yuuri’s hands out of his hair. “Don’t talk about those damn things alongside sex. I do not need the image of Smurfs worming their way into our sex life.” Viktor internally shivers at the thoughts. No thank you.

“Hey, I just said that I can look past the Smurfs for sex,” Yuuri defends. “You’re the one here that’s mixing the two, not me.”

Viktor rolls his eyes and leans back onto Yuuri. “Whatever.”

“I can’t help the fact that you like to think about Smurfs and fucking,” Yuuri jokes, pushing back up on the weight to support Viktor. “I didn’t know you were into that kind of thing, though. Kind of kinky.”

Viktor gasps, tearing himself away from Yuuri. “Yuuri Katsuki! I do not!” he says in horror. “Oh g-d. No! No no no no! I do not have a Smurf kink! Never say that again!”

Yuuri bursts out laughing, waving his hands in front of Viktor. “My fiancé Viktor Nikiforov has a Smurf kink. I can't believe this," he laughs. “You want me to get you off like this? Let you suck my blue Smurf-y fingers?”

“Oh g-d no.” Viktor squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head. “No, please no. Yuuri, you’re going to give me nightmares. You will ruin our sex life indefinitely because the image of Smurfs are going to be haunting me.”

“Just admit the idea of Smurfs are terrifying, and I’ll stop,” Yuuri says, “They’re not cute, now are they?”

No. No. Never again. No. “Smurfs are terrifying, now please. No more.”

“Sounds good to me.”

Viktor keeps his eyes closed until he feels Yuuri pull him in for a hug from behind, resting his head on the back of Viktor’s shoulders. “It doesn’t look that bad,” he assures. “It’ll take some time to get used to it, but it’s not bad. Just different.”

Viktor can’t say he agrees, but he won’t argue with Yuuri on it. He does have a rather biased opinion with it being his hair, after all. Carefully, he rearranges their positions so that he can wrap his own arms around Yuuri and hold him close. “I love you, Yuuri Katsuki.”

Yuuri giggles, looking up at Viktor and going to press their noses together briefly. “I love you too, Viktor Nikiforov. Even when your hair is Smurf coloured, I love you.”


End file.
